Questions Of Consequence

Questions Of Consequence

The art of being engaging is the art of asking compelling questions.

Learning this principle during coaching training changed the dynamic of every single one of my relationships almost instantaneously. I have been further inspired by books such as “A More Beautiful Question” by Warren Berger, as well as my interactions with friends, mentors and fellow coaches, both during my training and beyond.

Many say that the single most important skill of a coach isn’t telling people what to do, it’s asking them provocative questions that inspire them to dig deep and find the answer within. The same applies far beyond coaching.

Here are some questions to stop asking IMMEDIATELY. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with. One of my visions is to play a role in this being taught in schools.

“So what do you do?”
“Where do you live?”
“Where did you go to school?”
“How do you like London/New York/[insert city you’re in]?”
“What did you have for lunch?”

Every time I hear someone asking one of these questions a small piece of my soul dies, and I redirect the conversation, as politely and quickly as possible to more fertile territory.

We’re not on this earth to have inane conversations, we’re here to inspire each other and to excel.

Here are some better questions, that will inspire far more interesting answers and deeper engagement. Ask any of these questions and you can almost see people’s neurons firing like crazy as they’re actually stimulated to dig deeper into their consciousness for a meaningful answer.

“WHY do you do what you do?”
“What’s exciting for you right now?”
“What’s your biggest lesson in life so far?”
“What did you learn from your trip to Outer Mongolia?”
“What was your favourite thing about bungee jumping off the Auckland Bridge[/insert other awesome activity you find out they’ve done]?”
“What gets you fired up?”
“What would you like to see be different in the world in 5 years?”

Questions like these will not only get your audience AND YOU more fired up, they’ll enjoy talking to you more, and they’ll want to come back for more. If you want to be magnetic in life and business, this is essential.

If you haven’t already, try it right now with someone nearby or on the phone. You’ll quickly get addicted to the results. Like anything, once you start treading the path you’ll find yourself walking it without even consciously thinking about it. But what you’ll always be conscious of is how much bigger and better the view is.

A Bugbear

a bugbear

When people admit they spent years doing something they hated, it grinds my gears. How can you expect your clients to have full confidence in you, to believe you’ve got winner DNA, if you didn’t stand by your convictions and leave a job you hated straight away? Leaving a job you love for something even greater – that’s courage.

What do you think?

Evolution

Do you ever stop and recognize just how much you’ve evolved over the last year? Never mind two years, five years, ten years, but in just one year?

Sometimes it takes a photo captured in time to help us appreciate our own growth. Timehop is a wonderful tool for charting your progress as well as reconnecting with fond memories (either online or via their app).

This time a year and a month ago I was sitting at my desk, doing a job I loved, with people I loved, but noticing a growing desire to help people in more personal, intuitive, creative and ultimately more profound ways. Even though I was incredibly grateful and passionate about my job, I was getting intuitive hits that would manifest physically in recurring hollow, sinking and twisting feelings in my belly when I was in the office but not elsewhere.

This was in part because I was already midway through my life, business and health coaching training (which I had immediately discovered I had an even greater passion for), and was getting incredible insights into the entrepreneurial world through my volunteering with House of Genius. But while I dreamed of it, I still hadn’t quite imagined entrepreneurship to be realistic for me yet. I just quietly noticed the fire in my belly returning every time I was in training or volunteering engaged in coaching or entrepreneurship.

I also noticed that in order to be successful in my job, I had to spend a lot of my time in the hyper-logical, efficiency focused part of my brain, and that this not only felt like more work, but that it was at times challenging to switch it off in my personal life, which meant my relationships were less fulfilling than I knew they could be. In contrast, I could feel that these newer activities were engaging many more parts of my brain on a much more holistic and exhilarating level, as well as my gut and heart. I noticed too that in turn all of my relationships were becoming more and more energised.

Much like during yoga and meditation, I could feel myself losing my sense of separateness between myself and others, and even losing awareness of irrelevant external stimuli as I began to experience flow state with ever increasing frequency. I begun to feel more alive, stimulated and purposeful than ever before. Everything just came more naturally.

I quickly found ways to incorporate my new coaching skills into my corporate position by taking a new approach in all of my meetings and relationships as well as by running wellbeing workshops at lunchtimes to have a greater impact on my colleagues. After just a couple of these, I realised there was a profound need for this work in the world and that I had to make this a full-time venture ASAP. A year later, here I am running my business full-time!

What didn’t seem possible for you this time last year that’s now a reality?

Evolution
Me a year ago

Evolution

Evolution
Me on Sunday. My wardrobe has definitely evolved alongside my visions of what’s possible for me and others!

 

Below are a few of my other “on this day” Timehops. I’d love to see yours!

I’m also curious, if you could go back in time and tell 6 year ago you one thing, what would it be?

I’d tell 6 year ago me, instead of trying so hard to make everything work, to just let go of anything that didn’t feel good and move on. Challenges are amazing and important, but within reason. I firmly believe now if it doesn’t feel good it’s not what you’re meant for!

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2014: My first Winter in New York City. At Panna II Indian restaurant in NYC with my friend Diana. It has Christmas lights covering every inch of it year round! I was still cultivating my network in NYC but every day I woke up tingly with excitement to discover new people and adventures.
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2013: A few months before I moved to New York for my dream job! I’d also lost 40 pounds, bought my first home and started following my “definitely definitely or no” principle.
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2012: I got a LOT done, but I was very stressed and didn’t have a lot of patience…!

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2010: Before I learned the art of taking care of my needs first. And of saying no. I was very overwhelmed and anxious. There was much to be discovered!

 

 

Welcome!

Hello and thank you for visiting the digital home of Definitely Definitely! A place you can come for clarity, serenity, creative inspiration, and to find out more about working with me.

Are you a super motivated, yet overwhelmed type A? Forever rushing from one thing to the next, mentally and physically, in constant pursuit of the next challenge, the next opportunity, the next accomplishment, perfection even?! Thoughts racing, pulse racing, continually in a state of fight or flight? Wondering where the balance went between work and play?

I know how you’re feeling. I’m what I call a “recovering Type A”. Still highly motivated, but at my core, drastically more clear, serene and creative. And guess what, I actually get even MORE done. (And not just because I’m an entrepreneur now!). If you’d told me this back when I was running round like a blue arsed fly, stressing out about everything, obsessing over volume, I’d have laughed. But it’s my reality now, and I want to help it become yours too.

                                  THEN                                                                          NOW

Stress is EVERYWHERE. We can all sense it. On the tube/subway, at the checkout/till, in the office. Colleagues struggling to juggle mounting workloads, consumed with ticking off endless to do lists, seemingly trapped in a hamster wheel. According to 2016 figures, 64% of North American employees report high levels of stress, while in the UK, stress accounts for 37% of all work related ill health cases and 45% of all working days lost due to ill health.

With all this stress, our ability to see clearly and creatively is compromised and the risk of energetic and creative burnout is all too real. How can we keep showing up in our most compelling, inspiring energy and producing amazing ideas and projects if we’re frantic and frazzled?

I set up Definitely Definitely to help Type A executives and entrepreneurs like you go against the stressed out grain, and achieve new heights of clarity, serenity, creativity, and positive energy, so you can have an even more vibrant and sustainable impact in the world. I help people find their zen, their happy place, amidst the intensity of grand ambitions, competing priorities and a seriously stressed out world. I also help them refocus on quality (their Definitely Definitelys!) over quantity when it comes to prioritizing projects, and on birthing epic creative concepts and innovative solutions.

I lead both 1:1 coaching sessions and interactive group corporate workshops on topics including mindset, mindfulness, holistic health and wellbeing, conscious leadership, creative and entrepreneurial thinking and much more to help participants cultivate their Definitely Definitely lives and businesses from a place of abundant energy and unleashed creativity. I also run group and individual hypnotherapy sessions, and often find my clients benefit from a blend of hypnotherapy and coaching.

I help people say no, so they can say yes.

I help them find and sustain their most authentic and vibrant energy.

I help them focus on who they’re being – both as individuals and businesses – over what they’re doing.

These are just a few of the many subtle but intensely powerful mindset shifts I help people make.

And, whether you’re a business leader or an entrepreneur, because your – and your people’s – energy is your biggest (but not your only) asset, I also provide personal and professional brand expertise, helping you and your business articulate your story in the most authentic and emotionally compelling of ways so you can go from being an intellectual “nice to have” to heart-centered indispensable. It’s just a natural follow on from the energetic work I do with people and their teams.

Read more about my philosophy and testimonials from happy clients using the menu above.

Ready to rumble? Click the pink button to book a complimentary 60 minute, obligation free, pitch free call with me. You can also submit any burning questions or comments using the form below – I’ll get back to you personally within 48 hours.


At Definitely Definitely, our mission is simple. We exist to help type A executives and entrepreneurs with aggressive growth targets gain more clarity, serenity and creativity, so they can have an even greater and more sustainable impact in the world, and more fun along the way. We look forward to serving you!