Are you should-ing on yourself this week?
Telling yourself you “should” keep doing what you’re doing.
That you “should” have that meeting, call that person, tick that thing off your list, tick all of the things off your list.
That you “should” be grateful for what you have.
That you “should” answer every single call and email that comes in instantaneously, while also juggling what you actually planned to get done.
That you “should” be more excited about your day, your business, your life.
That you “should” be able to be in the moment more.
That you “shouldn’t” be too bossy, or too provocative.
That you “shouldn’t” share what you really think.
That you “shouldn’t” rock the boat or cause offence.
That you “shouldn’t” dream too big or get too big for your boots.
That you “shouldn’t” be greedy.
That you “should” be able to settle and enjoy what you have.
But also that you “should” be a multi-millionaire or billionaire by now.
That you “should” do X, Y, Z today. The same things you always do. That just don’t excite you anymore. And you “should” still enjoy them, but clearly there’s something wrong with you?
Here’s the thing.
Shoulding on yourself is EXHAUSTING. It literally slowly but very surely kills your body and soul.
Shoulding is not energising or activating or alivening. It’s heavy, dark, and steeped in obligation rather than inspiration.
The only things you actually NEED to do are eat, sleep, breathe and pay your bills. And if you’re a parent, to also look after your children.
Everything else is a CHOICE. How you make the money to pay your bills. What you eat, where and how, what air you breathe, where you sleep, and who with, etc.
Shoulds are wholly unnecessary.
Us human beings are very good at convincing ourselves that we’re stuck. And it’s just a huge inauthenticity. Unless you’re in prison superglued to the floor, you’re not stuck.
I spent a long time shoulding on myself then wondering why I felt tired and heavy no matter how much yoga I did or green juice I drank.
Guess what, it was all that damn shoulding!
For example, I LOVED living in New York City, which I did for two and a half years. But I also knew that while I often enjoyed and was enormously grateful for my job and many of my colleagues, by the two year point, the trajectory I was on wasn’t for me anymore. I loved being intellectual and strategic but I also wanted to use my intuition and sensitivity more, and mostly I had to switch them off to be effective in the corporate world. I also knew my future husband wasn’t there, he was in London, and that my family needed me.
When I stopped telling myself I “should” stay, and “should” still be in love with my life, and instead let myself feel what I actually felt, it was like a ten ton weight lifted off me.
A self-inflicted one.
I felt like a bird flying for the first time, when she’s only ever walked, but thought she’d been flying.
As I released myself from the prison of “shoulds”, which I’d created myself, and started creating what I actually yearned for and desired, I got to feel and notice and intuit and CREATE more and more and more of what I really wanted. It was a huge snowball effect.
My brain started working even more effectively. My creativity and ingenuity began flowing. I gained access to skills and resources I didn’t even know I had before. I became more open, patient and loving, both with myself and others.
And from there everything I’d ever desired began to flow. Easily and naturally. No pushing. No hustling. No shoulding. Just flow.
Of course I still have to catch myself sometimes, noticing a “should” thought creeping up, and promptly blitz and replace it. But I’m certainly not living in Should Prison anymore. And I have to tell you, it’s amazing.
Are you living in Should Prison? Externally appearing to be free but inside, feeling constrained and constricted?
Enough is enough. 🚫
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Work with me for 4 weeks to plan your escape, liberate yourself from the confines of what you think you “should” do, and start creating what your body and soul are truly hungry for.
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